Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(585): View more from New York

This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers

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(408): View more from California

who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.

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(631): View more from New York

We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?

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(503): View more from Oregon

The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.

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(613): View more from Ontario

I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires

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(619): View more from California

I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...

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