I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Is it because I queefed?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
