rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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