My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize