But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
ugly people sure do ruin things
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
