Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
