If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
