I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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