Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
"it" just moved
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
