whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
