didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
