he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I just gargled with NyQuil
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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