I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
