Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
