So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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