Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
