It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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