I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
