dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
