he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
