): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
