Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
