Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Randomize
