epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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