She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
my sisters under your porch take her home
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
A bitchslap is in order.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
