Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
