Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
