I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Randomize
