I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
