Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
