porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
