she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
