i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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