saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
