he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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