Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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