you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
