Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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