my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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