nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
