I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
