Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(620): View more from Kansas

Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.

(1-620): View more from Kansas

No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.

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(205): View more from Alabama

woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers

(1-205): View more from Alabama

yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....

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(512): View more from Texas

In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.

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(303): View more from Colorado

I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf

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