sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
