I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize