I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
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