Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
