OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
