yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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