I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I stole a fireplace last night.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
