i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize