she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Go christen that room with your naked body.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
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