some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize