While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize