Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
