dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
