Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
