I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
