You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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