Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
